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We had great fun writing brief descriptions of people we know and love, until we ran out of ideas part way through. It reminded us both of how lucky we are to be surrounded by people who can make us laugh even when they are not here. It was lovely to remember some of the silly things they do to amuse us all, and the ways they have of recounting their most foolish moments. The descriptions are not intended to encapsulate the entirety of everyone's personality in a few words! They are just a bit of fun. Hope you enjoy reading them as much as we enjoyed writing them.

An abomination of Atacks

When asked for a collective noun to describe a group of Atacks, Janet thought the most suitable term was abomination.

Andrew Caven-Atack - Father of the Groom
Professional musician and entertainment for the evening. Currently dismantling and rebuilding the house next door. He sees the wedding as, "not so much gaining a daughter-in-law as losing a son."

Sarah Caven-Atack - Ex-Pre-Step-Mum
Somehow keeps Tom's father in order. An accountant hoping soon to be earning a salary sufficient to keep Tom's father in his dotage (if he ever grows up).

Charles Stallard - Husband of the Mother of the Groom
Used to work with Tom's father but lost touch until he found himself living in the same village as Tom's mother. After living with Mary for even longer than Tom lived with Charlotte, they eventually got married.

Mary Stallard - Mother of the Groom
Tom has not spoken to his mother for nearly twenty years. They have not fallen out - he just can't get a word in. She enjoys making things out of wood or (when cooking) into wood.

Dora Caven-Atack - Grandma
If you have not yet heard all the stories of how she has embarrassed herself over the years (by which I mean, if you have never met her before), you soon will - many times. Protests that it is her four boys who are rude and that she is not in the least amused by a stiff dickie.

Jonathan Caven-Atack - Best Man
The kindest, most considerate, funniest and sweetest man we know. He never recounts embarrassing stories about anyone and never has a harsh word to say about anyone, not even in best man speeches.

Vivienne Caven-Atack - Wife of the Best Man
As manic as Jon is calm.

Elisabeth Caven-Atack - Cousin (commonly known as Lizy)
We think she is almost as difficult as Tom but worth the effort. She insists she is not in the least bit difficult.

Samuel Caven-Atack - Cousin
He is very small so please be sure not to tread on him.

Robin Caven-Atack - Dad's elder Brother
Once owned a Jensen. Likes schools so much, he lives in one.

Anne Caven-Atack - His wife
Despite having a huge family of her own, she married into the Atack family - some people never learn.

Timothy Caven-Atack - Cousin
Robin's eldest. Likes spirits (see below).

Helen Caven-Atack - Tim's wife
Has Polish parents. [This is the bit where we started running low on ideas.]

Jack Caven-Atack - Tim's eldest
Full name: Jack Daniel...

Archie Caven-Atack - Tim's youngest
Very small but growing all the time.

Mark Vernon - Sarah's husband
Goes to extreme lengths to get time off work.

Sarah Vernon - Cousin
Similar age to Tom, who refuses to comment on the male baby in the embarrassing nude bathing pictures with Sarah.

Phil Brightman - Emily's fiancé
Proposed earlier this year. Got married October this year.

Emily Atack - Cousin
Accepted a proposal earlier this year. Got married October this year.

Alyce Atack - Cousin
Alyce is nice. [Again, we ran low on ideas.]

James Caven-Atack - Dad's younger (but not youngest) Brother
Jamie is nice. [Now running very low on ideas.]

Janet Taylor - Jamie's wife
Does not take kindly to being called [purses lips], "an Atack".

Mathew Davies - Laura's beau
We know nothing about him but we are sure he is very nice.

Laura Rolston - Cousin
Tom's Mum's younger sister's eldest daughter.

Linda Seeley - Family friend
I really must get around to writing something about Linda.

Lisa MacDowell - Linda's daughter
Tom grew up with Lisa but has not managed to write anything about her - shameful.

Vanessa Seeley - Linda & Graham's daughter
Know as 'Nessy or 'Nessey - I forget which.

Tony Hill - Family friend
Mary introduced Tony to his wife, for which he has never forgiven her.

Pauline Hill - Tony's wife
Mum's oldest friend (in length of service, not in age).

David 'Chippie' Snell - Father's cousin
Chippie is never called David. Everyone has always called him chippie because he looked like a chippalata when he was born.

Linda Snell - Chippie's wife
Not the fictitious character from the Archers.

A forest of Ashes

The more observant amongst you may notice this is where we completely ran out of ideas.

Kingsley Ash - Father of the Bride

Sarah Ash - Mother of the Bride

Stephen Hurren - Brother-in-law

Kathryn Hurren - Sister of the Bride

Victoria Ash - Sister of the Bride

Terrence Moxham - Grandfather of the Bride (commonly known as Pop)

Elizabeth Moxham - Grandmother of the Bride (commonly known as Mama)

Diana Taylor - Great Aunt to the Bride (commonly known as Da)

Kevin Bridge - Uncle

Lucy Bridge - Aunt

Tamara Bridge - Cousin

Thomas Bridge - Cousin

Alan Smith - Great Uncle

Avril Smith - Great Aunt

Clive Henley - Great Uncle

Pat Henley - Great Aunt

Paul Van-Der-Veen - Family friend

Gill Van-Der-Veen - Paul's wife

David non-Van-Der-Veen - Sarah's fiancé

Sarah Van-Der-Veen - Paul & Gill's daughter

Andy Fedrick - Family friend

Anne Fedrick - Andy's wife

Alan Davies - Val's husband

Val Davies - family friend

Evening Guests

daytime guests | evening guests | almost guests

Charlotte's evening guests
Ceri Rees - school friend; Lynne Edmonson - school friend; Steve Morris - office buddy; Michele Morris - Steve's wife; Dave Mitchell - bossman; Elaine Mitchell - Dave's wife; Ray Hutchins - work colleague; Pat Hutchins - work colleague (and Ray's wife); Nigel Carter - work colleague; Marjory Carter - Nigel's wife; Frank Glover - bosses boss; Brenda Glover - Frank's wife; Josie McGuick - bosses bosses boss; Jim McGuick - Josie's husband.

Tom's evening guests
Darren Webb - Karen's husband; Karen Webb - Childhood friend; Nathan Webb - Darren's eldest; Kimberley Webb - Darren's youngest.

Steve 'Skip' Viney - Guitarist; Viv Viney - Guitarist’s wife; 'Subtle' Russell Jones - Boran player.

Almost Guests

daytime guests | evening guests | almost guests

Several close friends and family members were unable to attend for various reasons and were all sorely missed.

Atack's unable to attend
Benjamin Caven-Atack - Cousin; Graham Seeley - Family friend; Paul Rolston - Uncle; Margaret Rolston - Aunt; Nicola Rolston - Cousin; Michael Kelly - Uncle; Jean Kelly - Aunt; Adam Kelly - Cousin; Edwin Stratton - Tom's friend.

Ash's unable to attend
Paul Leneveu - Family friend; Sue Leneveu - Paul's wife; Ceri Leneveu - Paul's daughter; Gareth Leneveu - Paul's son.

Last and by all means least
Stuart Griffiths - Tom & Charlotte's friend who is almost as useful as a waste of space.

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Page updated: 21 October 2003